dextra: (Shake the shit out of you)
Taylor Lautner Fan Letter To Universal: Your Wolfman Ripped Off Twilight

Oh. Oh god. I don't even have the words to express the horror that this sort of thing inflicted upon me.

I love, LOVE, the old Universal monster movies. I used to have all of them on VHS back in the day, including the Abbott & Costello ones, just because. My all-time favorite is Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man, for the crackiness of it. Shitty Bela Lugosi as Frankenstein's monster, Lon Chaney Jr overacting, and even a musical number! You can't get that level of fuckery today in cinema unintentionally!

But this...I hope to every god in existence that the person that wrote this letter is still in high school. Otherwise, I hope they obtain a painful case of mutated hemorrhoids. With barbed spikes coming out of them.

Justin...say it with me.... WEREWOLVES ARE RUINED FOREVER!!!!111!!!111!!!!

Fuck this noise. Katy and I broke out the beer and Boondock Saints. Our brains need therapy.


May. 9th, 2009 12:01 pm
dextra: (Dr. Horrible - Wow sarcasm)
I have discovered that I'm probably allergic to Band-Aids. One more thing to add to the list of stuff that makes me sneeze, swell, break out and/or explode. I put one on a little scrape last night and it gave me a rash.

My sister didn't want to say the word "jail" in front of her kids, so she said "I have to go talk to Brady at the J-I-L-E."

Me: The what?

Beth: The J-A-L-E.

Me: Seriously?

Beth: You know what I mean.

Me: *laughing* I want you to start spelling everything you say from now on.
dextra: (Weeds - Bitch Please)
Me: *sitting at my desk perusing internets, sipping Pepsi quietly*

Crazy Woman: *bursts in door, looking homicidal*

Me: Can I help you?

Cut for crazy )
dextra: (Heroes - I see what you did there)
I'm so tired now. I didn't sleep a lot last night, but we had to be at the set early this morning, and for some reason, the Estill County Board of Education building has selective air conditioning. Meaning, it wasn't working. And then we added the lights and about 40 people in some cramped spaces. I think I sweat off five pounds before noon, no joke.

I did get to see the finished scenes from last week, though. And I gotta admit, my brief little flash on the screen was pretty funny. Today was different. I couldn't really be the same person this time around because, well, I'm supposed to be dead. So I put on a hat and some different clothes - voila! Random college student. I roamed around in the background. A lot.

Cut for rambles and bitches )
dextra: (Sinfest - Glory that is US)
That's the sound I made when I got up this morning because my back hates me. I've gotten almost everything moved over to Mom's. I'm at the old place in Morehead right now. I brought the laptop since I can still mooch some wifi here. :p Not so at Mom's. Which means I'll be MIA from the internets for a while. Which is going to make me fucking batty for a while. I'll still be able to check my email from my phone, but if I reply, it'll be brief. I text message like a mofo, but sometimes I'll just get tired of staring at a little screen and just call you. :p

So if you don't have my number and would wish to harrass me (which is totally welcomed), my number is 606-356-4549. I'm sure most of you had it anyway, but just to be sure.

So I've been tired and sore and a little annoyed. I got up this morning and decided to make a cup of coffee, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why the coffee pot wasn't working. Took me and Mom 15 minutes to realize the power was out. *facepalm* Her shitty friend Ginger had the electricity cut off without telling us she was doing it or when. I mean, it was going to happen eventually, but a little warning would have been nice. So Mom went to go get that fixed. She called me when I was on my way here, and said that when she called, the power company told her that they might not be able to get it on until Monday. WHUT. I told her to go to the office and demand that it get fixed to-fucking-day. And to also tell them that she has a large, mentally unstable, easily annoyed daughter that will kill them with a rusty spoon if they don't. I am NOT sitting in the fucking dark for two days because someone else neglected to tell us about this. And I just saw Ginger yesterday. She didn't say a thing about it.

*sigh* Anyway. Other than that, I've got a weekend's worth of cleaning and unpacking to look forward to. And then Monday it's back to the job hunting. S'funny, I got a call from AT&T a few minutes ago. I almost didn't answer it because I was afraid they were going to ask me when I'm going to pay my bill. That's doubly funny since they're sending me that check. But anyway, I had applied for a position at one of their call centers a while back, and they were calling to ask me if I wanted to come to a presentation about that. I went ahead and scheduled it, but it's not until the 12th, and it's all the way in Grayson. I'll go if I don't find something before then, but damn. If I were still here in Morehead that wouldn't be so bad, but now that I'm further away from there, that blows.

My mother's friends are weird. *laughs* Well, a different kind of weird than me, anyway. Her friend Kelly called last night and kept trying to hit on me. My mom is such a dyke hag. She talks to Kelly or Mary (Kelly's wife) all the time. And Kelly and I were pretending to flirt with each other just to skeeve Mom out. It was funny. :p She's fun, but not my type. And I don't like to talk about other people's weight, but that chick is close to 500 pounds. That's not even an exaggeration. I know people that would love to have death by pussy, but I'd bet they'd think twice if that's the way it was going to happen.

Thank god Tony called so I could have an excuse to get away from their weird. :p I think it freaked him out a little with the way I yelled at Mom. She asked who I was talking to, because she was being a smartass and nosy. I just yelled back "It's none of your goddamn business!" He was like "Who were you talking to?" I said "Oh, just a couple of lesbians. And my mom." Thankfully he doesn't scare easily. *laughs*

We talked for a while last night and came to the conclusion and realization that we're falling for each other. I mean, we do get a little on the romantic side too, but we both have that same kind of dry, acerbic, humorous way of approaching the subject of our feelings for one another. But at the same time there's a little bit of junior high mentality too. Like he'll say something like "Y'know, I think you're really really pretty and sweet, and I just want to hold you sometimes." And then he'll follow it up a beat or two later with "Shut up", like I'm going to laugh at him for saying it. That little bit of insecurity is endearing to me. Confidence is good, too, and he does have it, but he's not so arrogant that he assumes he's the shiznit.

And damn, anyone that can keep up with me texting Bloodhound Gang lyrics back and forth is a fucking keeper. My text messages on my phone are hilarious, because the lyrics to "Fire Water Burn" are all right there, you can read them straight through. :p
dextra: (Wombyn)
Firefly is the most mysogynistic television show ever and Joss Whedon rapes his wife every night.

Now that I have you paying attention (and possibly pissed), I shall direct your attention to a post that was pointed out in [ profile] lesbian. There is one of these young radical feminist "wymyn" that y'all know I love to hate on.

But yes, this young lady, [ profile] _allecto_, has determined that Firefly is the worst show EVAR. You know, instead of looking for the true societal evil in the world, like black market sales of women and girls for slaves, or the atrocities such as the female circumcisions that happen in Africa and the Middle East, or the slaughter of thousands of baby girls every year in China. But no, Joss Whedon is an evil, evil man and must be stopped. Stopped from doing what, I'm not sure, but he does!

I read the post last night, and it took me until today to come up with a response to it that didn't consist of "FUCK YOU" typed 500 times. So here's my response to her. She had a list of criteria that she would not allow in comments to her journal, so I don't know if I offended her delicate sensibilities or not. It's screened for now, but may be deleted later, so I'm putting it here as well:

"As a lesbian and a survivor of rape, I am so offended by this post that I don't even have the words to express it.

Rape is a violent, life altering act. I was brutally raped and left for dead once. And after a couple of years of therapy, I was able to start to trust people again. And you know what? I don't hate men for what one man did to me. My mother was abusive to me as a child. I don't hate all women because of what she did.

And yes, I'm gay. And you know what? My best friend is a man. A straight man, who is married and has children. We both watch a lot of sci-fi (Firefly included), and while I will complain when something blatantly sexist comes up in one of these shows, I really think you're seeing things that are just simply not there. You're letting your hate (and dare I say fear) of men cloud your judgment.

There's being a feminist, and then there's seeing misogyny in everything you see. I was that way too, when I was 20. Now that I'm 30, I realize there's much more important things in this world to get righteously indignant over than a television show, like how our world's being run into the ground by madmen.

I hope that one day, you find balance."

Something else that just occured to me. Why is it that these radical feminists, who want to project feminine strength (GRRR WYMYN!), have the most delicate of sensibilities and are so easily offended? Got news for you bitches. Strength ain't all about getting pissed and marching around and not needing a man to help you move in or out of your dorm room. Live the life I've had for the last decade, then you tell me whether a goddamn tv show is worth you getting all up in arms over. Fucking twits.

Five bucks says she's under 23 and is a women's studies major.

ETA: BAHLEETED! Apparently my comment must have been SO MEAN. Cunt.
dextra: (Judge me all you want)
I'm about to run out the door, but I wanted to get this out of my system before I do. The boycott is bullshit. It won't accomplish anything. And those of you who are being all smug and think you're accomplishing something by "supporting a cause"? You're not accomplishing shit. It's a business, not a fucking democracy.

You know, back in 2003 (OMG! Ancient times!) when I joined LJ, there were NO basic accounts. There were no Plus accounts. There was paid, and free, if you were lucky enough for a paid user to give you an invite. Which I was. [ profile] lepetitemort sent me an invite under the behest of my big lil bro, [ profile] anonymous_jones. A few months to a year or maybe longer later (I don't fucking know, nor do I care), they opened up free accounts. Ok, fine. But after a year of having a free account, I started paying for it. Because I like the service. And quite frankly, I think that was a bad idea, because it opened up the floodgates to trolls and other such online annoyances, like bots and spammers.

But you know what? I got over it. Just like you'll get over it. I've reminded people a lot in the last week or so that LJ wasn't always a free service, and some of them either didn't remember, or think I'm full of shit. Know your history before you open your mouth. I care about LJ, I really do. I've invested money in it, and I don't do that online unless I believe it's truly worth it. I'm also a snide bitch, and I plan on posting just as much tomorrow as I normally do. Maybe even more so, just to be an asshole. Hell, I read on another community that [ profile] statements is going to try for 9,000 posts tomorrow.

Your rights. You keep using those words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean. Rights are something that you get as an American (or Canadian or Australian or UK or whatever) citizen. LJ is a business. THEY have a right to conduct business however they see fit. YOU have a right to decide whether or not you feel this is a business you want to frequent. Protesting over your ability to use a service for free that hasn't even always been free, well that's just rather silly, don't you think?
dextra: (Firefly - Twixt my nethers)
I've just been either busy or distracted. So here's a list to save my sanity:

1. My mother called me yesterday upset because she'd been sick, and when she went to the doctor, found out she has diabetes. I'm not too surprised, because her father had it. But yay. One more disease to put on the list of possible things that will kill me. Apparently she's got a pretty bad case, since the doc wants to try her on pills before going straight to insulin, but told Mom that the insulin is looking like the only way to go.

2. I'm going job hunting on Monday, since the roads are clear again. And I don't have relatives all over my house.

3. I've been trying to help Chris out with the store. I've been getting convention materials together, and making signs and whatnot. I like doing it, and since it directly affects the welfare of my children, well, how can I not help out. Plus, hey, comics.

4. Also, the weekend before my birthday (April 26th or 27th) I've been shanghaied into attending Botcon, which is a Transformers convention. I know people going, and it's good for business, so I'm getting the store registered for that. And since it's in Cincinatti, I'm hitting the LUSH store while I'm there. *GLARINGLY OBVIOUS HINT, LEENIE*

5. I bought the children a robotic panda. The longer the day goes on, the more I am regretting this decision.

6. I have a ginormous pile of boxes in the kitchen that still need to be broken down and put out with the garbage. I'll get around to it. Eventually.

7. I bought a power screwdriver and a bit for dealing with stripped screws, because I am intelligent. And because half my bed is still in the living room.

8. I got a little irritated at a friend for showing up unannounced at Chris and Sara's house because he was looking for me. One, that's not cool. Two, it was Valentine's Day. I had bought alcohol for us all and they were going to have pity on me and drink with me. Instead, Adam shows up with his girlfriend's brother (who none of us had ever met) and just hangs out there. So I finished my drink and had them follow me to my place. I didn't mind hanging out with them, but a phone call would have been nice. Plus, the whole showing up at Chris' house was not cool because there was apparently a problem with Adam hitting on people when their significant others were not around. So...that wasn't good. And I felt like an asshole because I told Adam to come hang out "sometime". I didn't mean THAT NIGHT.

9. I'm going to dismantle that goddamn panda while the kids are asleep tonight. I can feel the urge rising.

10. Or, alternately, I just really need to get laid.
dextra: (It's funny and I'm mean)
Another winner that I found over on [ profile] badtattoos_4:

Woman With Tattoo From Homemade Gun Got Sick

Now, that's not too unusual. There's always some tard with a homemade machine making some horrible mess on someone. No, that's not what makes this so special.

She got the tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman. And it's not like he looked like a professional at all.

"It was wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun," Eason said.

With all the warnings about AIDS and Hepatits out there, how in the fuck does someone think this is a good idea? Only a moron of this magnitude, obviously.

Now I'll admit, a couple of my tattoos were spur of the moment, but at least they were done by professionals.

Sometimes I think we should just do away with all the fucking warning labels that are all over everything and just let natural selection do its thing.
dextra: (Think or I will set you on fire)
Found this via [ profile] aeire:

Old School Sesame Street not suitable for today's kids?

You just can't make this shit up. I'm of the same opinion as today's Punch an' Pie comic: "Yeah but when I was a kid I didn't eat cookies 'cos some fat muppet told me to, I at them 'cos they TASTE GOOD. And if I ate too many then I learned that B was for barfing and that was good enough for me."

I watched Sesame Street from the time I was old enough to watch the television. I stopped after I reached about 8 years old, and didn't watch it again until I had kids of my own. And it wasn't the same. First of all, Elmo sends me into a frothing homicidal rage. And it all seemed way too glossy than the way I remembered it. There was no semblence of reality at all. Back in the day, Sesame Street was a little more real. You could almost believe that you could go there. Now...unless you're a hallucinogenic aficianado, that's just not even feasible. My kids lost interest in it pretty quickly. They can relate to cartoons better than that.

The whole PC, overly cautious, shine and polish, protect the children from life mentality that has taken over children's programming is fucking stupid. Kids today aren't as innocent as we were, yet for some reason, we feel compelled to try to force them into OUR ideal childhoods. It doesn't work. My kids are wisened, foul-mouthed little psychopaths that think Sesame Street is lame, and prefer Shaun of the Dead over Shrek. And you know what? They're fine. In fact, they're awesome. They're smart, socially well-adjusted, and most importantly, they think for themselves. They don't need a overly idealized, sugar-free candy-coated version of reality to get their morality from.
dextra: (STFU)
Dear loud, stupid neighbor,

I can hear your carnal utterings through my walls. If he's not giving it to you after all that yelling you were doing, he's doing it wrong. I have books that can help you correct that problem. They even have pictures, so you can understand them.

Unless of course, the problem is that he didn't pay beforehand, in which case, that was your mistake. Yelling about it now is a bit redundant.

Please to be shutting the fuck up now so I can sleep.

Eat shit and die,

dextra: (Heroes - I see what you did there)


I checked the DVR and it's not recording until Saturday. *HEADDESK HEADDESK HEADDESK*
dextra: (Failboat)
So Mr. Ellis' book, Crooked Little Vein is a featured book of the month on MySpace. I read it and liked it, so I wandered over to show some love.

You gotta love retards/trolls. The person who commented directly below me just went off on a tirade about religion, which was provoked by....nothing. Typical rabid atheistic ranting about people who subscribe to religious beliefs have mental problems. Whatthefuckever. It was the last paragraph (yes, there were paragraphs involved) that cracked me up:

"But by making them believe, & act, & think, & say, and do all these crazy things that are far from normal all in the name of a fiktishes god or the fiktishes son of god is truley insane!"

LOL FIKTISHES. I had to read that five times because I kept thinking, "I can't recall ever hearing of a fishstick god, much less a fishstick son of god."
dextra: (Heroes - STFU)
Grow a sense of humor, kthxbai.

That was fucking funny right there. Homer looks like he's about to play ring toss.


Jul. 11th, 2007 01:50 pm
dextra: (Spidey - Pete will eat your face)
I swear by my Jack Sparrow Bobblehead that if I have to make one more revision today, I'm shredding all the scrapped previous revisions and having myself a confetti party while dancing on the boss' desk.

Edit: Not five minutes after posting this, guess what? *screams and runs around flailing arms*


Jun. 8th, 2007 03:49 pm
dextra: (Ace FRLY)
Paris is back in jail, and this time, she's gotta do the whole 45 days.

Fucking yes. I normally could care less about celebrity triviality, but that bitch irks me.


May. 31st, 2007 12:53 am
dextra: (LJ Strikethrough 2007)
I've sat here for the last hour or so perusing through the journals, communities, news sites and other blogs posting about the permanent suspension of what looks like hundreds of individuals and communities. I was pretty neutral on the issue at first, though now it seems my rant from this morning was a bit premature.

We haven't been graced with an "official" statement from LJ about all of this. You can find links about the whole mess just about everywhere, but [ profile] innocence_jihad seems to be the best source I've found. And it's also where I found this:

Barak Berkowitz, chairman and chief executive of Six Apart did a phone interview with CNet where he said this:

"Our decision here was not based on pure legal issues," countered Six Apart's Berkowitz. "It was based on what community we want to build and what we think is appropriate within that community and what's not. We have an awful broad range of discussions and topics and other things going on in LiveJournal, and we encourage other broad-ranging conversations on all sorts of topics. This was a specific case where we felt there was not a reason (for these journals to stay online)."
(Bold emphasis was mine)

Hold up here. I've had this journal going on for four years now, long before Six Apart was part of the equation. I have two paid accounts, one with the extra icon addition. I have bought paid time for friends, and I've purchased several V-Gifts. I've probably spent somewhere between $200-300 on LJ goods and services since I started my account. I am a paying customer, and I'm paying for the ability to post my views on this site.

I never knew that I was paying to help Six Apart decide what was appropriate for me to post. Furthermore, what is this "community we want to build" horseshit? There was a community here long before Six Apart purchased LiveJournal. And thanks to this hamfisted approach to what could have been a quiet removal of a few really sick fucks has resulted in dozens of innocent individuals and communities being suspended.

I want an official explanation for this. I want LJ/SA to acknowledge their fuckups and to restore the journals and communities that were unjustly suspended, especially the abuse support groups. That was just senseless.

It really irritates me that I just renewed my account for another year last week. Had this happened before I had done that, I might not have. I'm going to wait and watch and see what happens. At first I was indifferent to the whole thing, because hey, I'm not a pedophile, and my posts and interests aren't likely get me swept up in the whole mess. Not yet anyway. When will the apparently panic-induced suspension spree be expanded to include other things that aren't a part of the community LJ/SA wants to build? That's what worries me.

Anyway. I'm letting it lie for now. See where it goes. For now, I need sleep.
dextra: (Pete will eat your face)
This is potentially job-saving, so I'm passing it along:

If you took the "LJ Mojo" test last month, the graphics for the test result have been replaced by some really, really disgusting stuff. As in, scatalogical, not work safe. I believe the term is "Goatse", from a defunct shock site. So go back and get rid of it, although you may want to wait to do it from home

Apparently, this guy is responsible.. what an asshole..No pun intended.

Yes, I had taken it and the image was indeed that of the infamous Goatse. If you've not seen that before, it's not pretty.
dextra: (Rageahol)
For those of you who read MacHall, or Matt Boyd & Ian McConville's new comic Three Panel Soul, you'll probably be surprised by what happened to Matt today.

Matt was working as a contractor for a branch of the government. He made the mistake of being interested in the hobby of paper target shooting at about the same time as the VA Tech shootings and talking to someone about this hobby at work. Keep in mind he wasn’t even talking about those shootings, in fact he was discussing how he wanted a gun which would make it difficult to kill someone.

He was promptly fired and not allowed back to work because people were scared of him.

To top it all off, he was later visited by police detectives for making a comic about his experience, because it was a “borderline terroristic threat.”

Now, didn't I say after the Alan Lee incident (the kid who was arrested over an English paper) that people would be acting fucking stupid after the VT shootings? Yeah. Welcome to Stupidville. Population: us.

Edit: For reference, I found this story via [profile] indigoskynet, who posted it last night. There was a bit about it in the Three Panel Soul news, but it was removed after the police incident.
dextra: (Natalie sez you a beeyotch)
I know this is being repeated on everyone's friends list, but it bears repeating:

This is wrong on a level that makes me cross-eyed. Let's go round up every sci-fi and horror author, director, or actor out there, because their work may be disturbing to the general public.

Let's give Alan Lee some support. Write or email the school and let them know what a travesty to creativity they are committing.

Cary-Grove High School
2208 Three Oaks Road
Cary, IL 60013

Susan Popp - Principal (
Bill Kopanda - Vice Principal (


dextra: (Default)

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