dextra: (Cherry Hammer)
Text convo with [ profile] cielamara.

Dextra: Beat em over the head with a Louisville Slugger and drink heavily. That's my motto.

Nikki: I want to see that in Latin on someone's coat of arms.

Dextra: God damn it. You know if you say these things to me I have to draw them.

Nikki: Well, you needed motivation to draw tonight, didn't you? :P

Dextra: Damn it. I was gonna piss around and play Arkham City.

Nikki: I think you should put some swans on there. Like oh, how dainty and pretty and then BOOM! HEADSHOT with a wing. Swans will beat some ass.
I ruin everything, it's my specialty.


Nikki: Trollolololol :D:D:D


Nikki: And maybe a four-leaf clover because it's on the Davis coat of arms and also to say BISH YOU LUCKY I'M TOO DRUNK TO REALLY STOMP YO ASS. Building a theme here.
Though if I were desigining a coat of arms for myself it would feature a goose and its mottow would be FUCK YOU, I'M A GOOSE, GEESE DON'T CARE. But in Latin.

Dextra: I did just get a coat of atms* in the mail. It's all Dr Who related. Odd coincidence.

Nikki: Clearly you need to design this coat of arms.

Dextra: Biiiiiitch.

Nikki: :D It's so cute that you're haing such a hard time spelling "mistress of all that is awesome."

Dextra: No, I think I know how to spell cuntbag. :p I'm also proud of my phone for having cuntbag in its dictionary.

Nikki: LMAO did you put it there?

Dextra: ...maybe.

Ok, so to recap, my phone is made up of equal parts LOL, OMG and WTF.

LOL - It's been known to change *hugs* to *jihad*

OMG - Its internal dictionary contains words like "cuntbag", "twatwaffle" and "Benedict Cumberbatch". There's actually a shortcut for the last one.

*WTF - Sometimes, things like "arms" come out as "atms". Now I'm wondering what the fuck a coat made of atms looks like. o_O
dextra: (Abbey Road Treadmill)
As I announced on Facebook yesterday, I am in possession of wheels once again. I'm pretty happy about it. It's a 1997 Mecury Sable. It's older, but it's in great shape. Even the engine is spanky clean. It runs great, and the AC is icy cold. And it's nice and spacious on the inside, which is good for me, because I tend to get a little car claustrophobic sometimes.

Pictures and other junk under here. )

And finally...I made an ass out of myself for lulz. And Fia helped.

dextra: (Infinite Mockery)
I meant to do a post on this a while back. I think I only hesitated becuase a) I have a hard time talking about this without laughing so hard I cry and b) I didn't think anyone would believe me. But now, I have screenshot evidence a la Facebook:

Now, most of us live outside of the cultural vacuum that is Kentucky (apologies to those of you that are, but you know what I'm talking about). And to the rest of the world, the word "cornhole" makes you think of two things.




I'm right there with you on that one. However, in the state of Kentucky, or more specifically, the Eastern half, cornholing is a game of skill. And I can hear at least one of you saying "But Dex, cornholing does require skill! *snicker*" Yes, I'm well aware of the joke potential here. Bear with me a moment.

I first heard about this mysterious game a couple of years ago while driving around my hometown with my mother in the car. I saw a hand-painted sign advertising a cornhole tournament. Yes, a tournament. I'm cracking up and my mother asks why. I point at the sign, since I was laughing so hard that verbal communication was now lost to me.

This is when my mother proudly tells me, with a straight face, "Well, you happen to be looking at the Cornhole Champion of Montgomery County!"


Once I recovered from my head explosion, my mother explained to me that Cornhole is a game of skill involving small cloth bags filled with dried corn and planks of wood with holes in them. That's about as far as I got. I can only assume that this is some form of redneck skeeball. A quick skim of Google search results seem to imply that this is the case.

But I still just about lose my mind whenever I think of my mother proudly announcing her status as a champion cornholer.
dextra: (Gir Squirrel)
Reply to me with your favorite silly image or macro. I will return the favor tonight after I get in from work. I want to come home to lots of LOL WTF BBQ, so get crackin' peoples. :D

dextra: (Sinfest - Glory that is US)
Me: Are you trying to stick my hand in your butt?
Tony: No, I'm trying to fight crime!
dextra: (Squee - teh freakiness)
I am thankful for:

- Having internets again!

- Having cable tv again!

- Being able to communicate with my peoples!

- Having my Tony here!

- And he's staying!

- And Mom is totally down with the idea!

- And I'm fucking hungry so Imma go get some lunch!
dextra: (Elmo's a mean drunk)
My little brother, the everweird Goober, has managed to land himself a part in a movie. He's been acting in community theater for years. He is a pretty decent actor. He's just a bit of a spaz. Anyway, he posted this bulletin on MySpace today, and I thought I would post it here.

If you would like to be an extra in a movie, help work on a set, or maybe even get a small speaking role, then let me know. I'm getting my first role in a movie, called Hellaphone, and I went to a production meeting today. They said they still need extras and people to work on the set, and I think there was a small chance they may need a couple more people for speaking roles. If you think this will be something fun to help with, let me know and I'll give you the info on who to contact and all that, but try to hurry because even though they probably wont start shooting for a few more weeks, they are filling these positions now!



That's right up there with Deathbed: The Bed That Eats People. Which is a real movie. It's on IMDB, I checked. Patton Oswalt will not lie to us. Oh man, Drew, you must email him and tell him of the Hellaphone. He'll shit his pants.

But yeah. That just amused the hell out of me. So if anyone knows anyone in the vicinity of Lexington, KY that would be interested in such a thing, let them know. Hell, I'm tempted to go grab a part as an extra just so I can say that I was in the masterpiece known as Hellaphone.

FUCK. Now I have that damned "Hella Good" song by No Doubt stuck in my head.

You know I got a Hellaphone
And it just won't stop stabbin'
I use it like I should
But it's gonna keep on stabbin'

*stab stab stab stab stabba stab stab stab stab stab*


Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring......THE HELLAPHONE!
(or switch out the ringing with more stabbing or screaming or something)


Apr. 13th, 2007 11:23 am
dextra: (SQUEE)
This is the best thing I've seen all week:

I want one!


Apr. 12th, 2007 05:59 pm
dextra: (Endless)
It appears a fan of yours wanted me to let you know that she really likes the comic. She says you should keep it up. She also said the cherry stones told her she's going to be a kangaroo when she grows up, but that's beside the point.

Clicky for biggerness.

I saw a sketch Terry Moore did of Delerium on his LJ feed [ profile] terrymoore and it spoke to me. I scanned it at the office, but all the scans come out as PDF files, and therefore, yuck.

She's been trying to convince me that green mouse and telephone ice cream is delicious ever since.

(And yes, I'm aware that one ear is way bigger than the other. I didn't have time to get the perspective right, so shaddup. :p)
dextra: (Chocolate covered pretzel)
Katy....did you just try to call me? Or is your phone dialing random numbers without your knowledge? :p
dextra: (Grammar bat)
CJ actually made a post! And the world just got a little more normal. Or is that weirder? I dunno. Anyway, I miss him posting in his journal. Made me seem less strange by comparison. And I'm going to run away now because chances are he's sitting at work right now reading this and I'll be tortured when he gets home. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, it's just more fun to pretend that I do.


dextra: (Default)

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