dextra: (Cherry Hammer)
Text convo with [ profile] cielamara.

Dextra: Beat em over the head with a Louisville Slugger and drink heavily. That's my motto.

Nikki: I want to see that in Latin on someone's coat of arms.

Dextra: God damn it. You know if you say these things to me I have to draw them.

Nikki: Well, you needed motivation to draw tonight, didn't you? :P

Dextra: Damn it. I was gonna piss around and play Arkham City.

Nikki: I think you should put some swans on there. Like oh, how dainty and pretty and then BOOM! HEADSHOT with a wing. Swans will beat some ass.
I ruin everything, it's my specialty.


Nikki: Trollolololol :D:D:D


Nikki: And maybe a four-leaf clover because it's on the Davis coat of arms and also to say BISH YOU LUCKY I'M TOO DRUNK TO REALLY STOMP YO ASS. Building a theme here.
Though if I were desigining a coat of arms for myself it would feature a goose and its mottow would be FUCK YOU, I'M A GOOSE, GEESE DON'T CARE. But in Latin.

Dextra: I did just get a coat of atms* in the mail. It's all Dr Who related. Odd coincidence.

Nikki: Clearly you need to design this coat of arms.

Dextra: Biiiiiitch.

Nikki: :D It's so cute that you're haing such a hard time spelling "mistress of all that is awesome."

Dextra: No, I think I know how to spell cuntbag. :p I'm also proud of my phone for having cuntbag in its dictionary.

Nikki: LMAO did you put it there?

Dextra: ...maybe.

Ok, so to recap, my phone is made up of equal parts LOL, OMG and WTF.

LOL - It's been known to change *hugs* to *jihad*

OMG - Its internal dictionary contains words like "cuntbag", "twatwaffle" and "Benedict Cumberbatch". There's actually a shortcut for the last one.

*WTF - Sometimes, things like "arms" come out as "atms". Now I'm wondering what the fuck a coat made of atms looks like. o_O

Oh god.

Oct. 21st, 2011 09:03 pm
dextra: (Donna voodoo)
I just had a horrible idea for a comic. I have several animal friends (real and imaginary). How wrong would it be to combine them all into one comic?

Ulath - Brony alien in a defective cat suit
Crash - the slamdancing squirrel that lives in our backyard
Armando - my imaginary friend, a ferret that often dons a strap on dildo to terrorize people with
Deth Possum - I drew it on a coaster at Red Robin once. It's literally just a possum with a machete taped to its back.

I could call it "Arkham's Home for Imaginary and Mentally Ill Pets".

I need help. On a professional level.
dextra: (Dynamic Depth of Field)
Here, if you want to wear (or carry, or drink from, etc) the Gonzo Pirate, I tossed it up on Cafe Press. I may try to remove the background later so the design pops more, but we'll see. Go here, give me a reason to keep doing this shit. :)
dextra: (I HAVE NO PANTS!)
[ profile] cielamara and I have been discussing hockey. Sort of.


[ profile] dextradawn: LMAO

[ profile] cielamara: And, I mean, I don't blame them. That is one fine-looking family.

[ profile] dextradawn: I just googled him lol

[ profile] cielamara: ALL AT ONCE?


[ profile] cielamara: OH SHIT I JUST LOLED

[ profile] dextradawn: Hell, I kinda impressed myself with that one :p
dextra: (Keep Music Evil)
Day 13: A song you sing in the shower.

Yeah, so....I did this. *hides under the bed*

dextra: (Abbey Road Treadmill)
As I announced on Facebook yesterday, I am in possession of wheels once again. I'm pretty happy about it. It's a 1997 Mecury Sable. It's older, but it's in great shape. Even the engine is spanky clean. It runs great, and the AC is icy cold. And it's nice and spacious on the inside, which is good for me, because I tend to get a little car claustrophobic sometimes.

Pictures and other junk under here. )

And finally...I made an ass out of myself for lulz. And Fia helped.

dextra: (HIMYM - True Story)
I swear, if I ever write my autobiography, it'll end up in the scifi/fantasy section, or at the very least, general fiction, because no one will believe that half the shit that happens to me is real.

I went with Katy to go looking for a car on Friday. We pull in to the first place on our unwritten list, and we're greeted by a midget. I know he has a name. It was just a struggle for me not to turn into Guru Pitka from The Love Guru and start cracking jokes. I mean, he was a nice guy, for a car salesman. I filled out a credit application, and waitied. I hate that, because my credit is a joke. I was half expecting him to come back and tell me to leave before I tainted the other customers with my shitty credit.

I nearly lost it when he came back and said "How do you feel about a minivan?" I was so tempted, SO TEMPTED to bust out with a Mini-me joke. I stayed cool though, because I was trying to be focused on the task at hand, which was getting me a car.

We go look at the van. It's not bad, it's just older than I would have cared for, and kind of stained up. Getting the AC to work was a trick. That right there was a red flag. I took it for a drive, and it's not bad. I drove my Rusty Pearl (big old van) for a couple of years without a problem, so a minivan was no problem. But it just seemed like too much of a vehicle for me. Plus it was a 4 cylinder in a van that size...nah. Shit, my Jeep was a V-6, and sometimes it was pissy about steep hills.

So I passed on it, and unfortunately, with my shitty credit, that's all they really had for me. I may be able to get something with a better down payment though, so I'm just going to hang on to my money and see what next payday brings. Plus, there's other places to look, and Sonia, a lady at work, has a daughter with a car she's looking to sell cheap. If I can ever get to look at the thing, that is.

Also, my semi-drunken dyslexic judgement saved Katy $80. I was helping her replace the back door, when I looked at it and announced "They cut the grooves for the hinges the wrong way." When, in fact, they had not. So Katy calls Home Depot back and gives this guy a mouthful, and he offers her the money back. Justice appears to have been served.

Then, not five minutes later, Katy calls me back to the door and is laughing her ass off because the hinge grooves were cut the right way. My goofy ass just pictured the hinges going on in the other direction. Yay dyslexia! Well, I got her some money back on an overpriced chunk of house anyhow. We'll call it a win and just leave it at that. Even if I do feel like I need to be in a corner with a dunce's cap and a diaper, swinging a cat over my head.


Apr. 26th, 2010 09:27 am
dextra: (I have the dumb)
Apparently someone flipped the "off" switch on my insomnia. See, I have weird little cycles of insomnia that tend to kick in during the spring. Except Colorado has a fucked up definition of spring that includes blowing snow that can pack itself neatly into your ear while you're trying not to kill yourself by trudging through slush to get inside a Target. (Say that five times fast.)

About halfway through my shift last night, I felt this warm, relaxing vibe sweep through me. "Aw, shit," I thought, "why now?" I knew, even then, that I wasn't long for the world. And I still had at least 3 hours to go.

My particular brand of insomnia is weird. Not that insomnia is a normal thing, but I digress. I will spend an entire day dragging myself along, yawning and mumbling all the way. And then somehow, at about 10 pm, something inside my brain says "PARTAY!" and I'm wired. Some nights I won't be able to sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning, and then I'm back up by 8 or 8:30 at the latest. I don't go in to work until noon, but I need my morning time to wake up. Yes. I require four hours in which to wake up. This is so I don't kill anyone with mind bullets when I do get to work.

Wait for it... )
dextra: (Default)
For Valentine's Day week, I thought I should tell an interesting story about the weirdest date I ever went on. Put on your time travel hats, kids, cause we're going all the way back to 1996.

Insert time machine type noises here. )

Oh, it just occurred to me that it's (Way Back) Wednesday. At least my sense of timing is working today. :p
dextra: (Firefly Karaoke)
Ok, I originally posted this back in 2005, but since I've referenced it a couple of times this week, it seemed like a good time for a revival. So here it is, in all its weird and wonderful glory, my brief time with the hippies and a cautionary tale on drinking unfamiliar tea. Oh, and a Smurf orgy.

Way back in the 20th century... )


dextra: (Default)

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