dextra: (Cherry Hammer)
Text convo with [livejournal.com profile] cielamara.

Dextra: Beat em over the head with a Louisville Slugger and drink heavily. That's my motto.

Nikki: I want to see that in Latin on someone's coat of arms.

Dextra: God damn it. You know if you say these things to me I have to draw them.

Nikki: Well, you needed motivation to draw tonight, didn't you? :P

Dextra: Damn it. I was gonna piss around and play Arkham City.

Nikki: I think you should put some swans on there. Like oh, how dainty and pretty and then BOOM! HEADSHOT with a wing. Swans will beat some ass.
....
I ruin everything, it's my specialty.

Dextra: SHUT UUUUUPPPPP

Nikki: Trollolololol :D:D:D

Dextra: I NAME YOU BEYOTCH, RUINER OF LAZYTIEMS

Nikki: And maybe a four-leaf clover because it's on the Davis coat of arms and also to say BISH YOU LUCKY I'M TOO DRUNK TO REALLY STOMP YO ASS. Building a theme here.
Though if I were desigining a coat of arms for myself it would feature a goose and its mottow would be FUCK YOU, I'M A GOOSE, GEESE DON'T CARE. But in Latin.

Dextra: I did just get a coat of atms* in the mail. It's all Dr Who related. Odd coincidence.

Nikki: Clearly you need to design this coat of arms.

Dextra: Biiiiiitch.

Nikki: :D It's so cute that you're haing such a hard time spelling "mistress of all that is awesome."

Dextra: No, I think I know how to spell cuntbag. :p I'm also proud of my phone for having cuntbag in its dictionary.

Nikki: LMAO did you put it there?

Dextra: ...maybe.

Ok, so to recap, my phone is made up of equal parts LOL, OMG and WTF.

LOL - It's been known to change *hugs* to *jihad*

OMG - Its internal dictionary contains words like "cuntbag", "twatwaffle" and "Benedict Cumberbatch". There's actually a shortcut for the last one.

*WTF - Sometimes, things like "arms" come out as "atms". Now I'm wondering what the fuck a coat made of atms looks like. o_O
dextra: (Bones - Good God Man)
Post apocalyptic future dream. The saviors of humanity are (no shit) Muppets, the vampires of Bon Temps, Justin Powell and Cory Stringer. I don't think I should HAVE to elaborate further at this point, but for the sake of showing how fucked my subconcious is, I will anyway. It started with the vampires. I was in an hospital that people were finding refuge in. Bill Compton saved me from a bad vamp that wanted to skin me to see my what my finger bones looked like under the moonlight. Northman was around, but unfortunately nowhere near me. Damn it.

People were scavegeing for food. I recall a group of teenagers finding a stash of canned food and being very excited about it. I found Justin and Cory in a cafeteria, after the Muppets found them. And my mother was with them. There was a moment, when my mother said, there she is, there's my daughter! And all of them said hi to me and waved excitedly. And even though I'd just been attacked by a vampire, and seriously scared and confused, my smartass gene kicked in. I said (in my Dr. Nick voice) "HI EVERYBODY!" And about a third of the muppets yelled back "HI DR NICK!" and I did a fistpump and said "Them's mah people." No, I don't know why I did this, but if you know me, you're probably not surprised that I would.

There was a bunch of random scenes that floated around as well. It seemed that we were in NYC, because I could see the Manhattan skyline. Though the view was similar to that from the observation deck of the Empire State Building, so that was a little odd. Also of note, the Doozers built the World Trade Center back with three towers and barber's scissors sticking out the top. I don't know why. I remember seeing some other vampires wandering around at night, but of course, come daylight, they were running for the basement/morgue.

Oh, and Schaef was having a conversation with someone about where he had been. It seems we were all kind of scattered around NY. He said he was just out running his car up and down the highway really fast because there weren't any cops around to bust him, and it wouldn't mean anything anyway.

There was one thing that really disturbed me. More than the vamp wanting to eat the flesh off my fingers. That was The Count and Bubba (from the Sookie books) chasing cats. Wrong wrong wrong. Anyway. My brain is a very weird place to be at night.
dextra: (Shake the shit out of you)
As others have said and or threatened bodily harm about, I keep LJ and Facebook separate for a reason. Please do not crosspost any of my posts and/or comments over there. If I want something I've posted over there, I'll do it my damn self, thank you very much. Don't make me have to hurt you. I have a car now, and I've made unexpected asskicking trips for less.
dextra: (Shake the shit out of you)
Taylor Lautner Fan Letter To Universal: Your Wolfman Ripped Off Twilight

Oh. Oh god. I don't even have the words to express the horror that this sort of thing inflicted upon me.

I love, LOVE, the old Universal monster movies. I used to have all of them on VHS back in the day, including the Abbott & Costello ones, just because. My all-time favorite is Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man, for the crackiness of it. Shitty Bela Lugosi as Frankenstein's monster, Lon Chaney Jr overacting, and even a musical number! You can't get that level of fuckery today in cinema unintentionally!

But this...I hope to every god in existence that the person that wrote this letter is still in high school. Otherwise, I hope they obtain a painful case of mutated hemorrhoids. With barbed spikes coming out of them.

Justin...say it with me.... WEREWOLVES ARE RUINED FOREVER!!!!111!!!111!!!!

Fuck this noise. Katy and I broke out the beer and Boondock Saints. Our brains need therapy.
dextra: (Sparkly shenanigans)
I will have another comic up this weekend (keep your fingers crossed, there). I've been fucking around with the html on Blogger, and I can't for the life of me figure this shit out. I mean, basic html, like increasing the width of the body/post area, I can deal with. In fact, I kind of already did that. As you can see, I am brilliant at fucking up code.

I'm happy with the layout (for now anyway). The new size of the body is just right for the width of the comic. Actually, the next one and the ones following should be just a couple dozen pixels slimmer. All I really want is to get the sidebar back to where it's supposed to be, instead of at the bottom of the page, where it's hanging around like a vestigial tail.

I'll wait while you Google "vestigial tail" and then yell at me.

So anyway, does anyone have a clue what I'm talking about, or could give me a link to something that could help me out? I'm tired and cranky, and I'm likely to fuck it up worse if I keep messing with it tonight.
dextra: (Firefly Karaoke)
Ok, I originally posted this back in 2005, but since I've referenced it a couple of times this week, it seemed like a good time for a revival. So here it is, in all its weird and wonderful glory, my brief time with the hippies and a cautionary tale on drinking unfamiliar tea. Oh, and a Smurf orgy.

Way back in the 20th century... )

WHAT

Nov. 12th, 2009 10:39 am
dextra: (Chairleg of Truth)
Ok, I saw this post by [livejournal.com profile] ms_daisy_cutter last night, regarding Colorado Sentator Dave Schultheis, and a rather fucking retarded comment he made on his Twitter last night.

She also included this link, further demonstrating this guy's fucknuttery.

Just a mere morsel of the stupidity from said link:

SEN. DAVE SCHULTHEIS, R-Colorado Springs, on Wednesday voted againt Senate Bill 179, which requires pregnant women to undergo HIV testing to ensure steps can be taken to reduce transferring the disease to the baby if the mother is infected.

* What he said during the debate: "This stems from sexual promiscuity for the most part and I just can't go there. We do things continually to remove the consequences of poor behavior, unacceptable behavior, quite frankly. I'm not convinced that part of the role of government should be to protect individuals from the negative consequences of their actions."

* What he said afterward: "What I'm hoping is that yes, that person may have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby and when they grow up, but the mother will begin to feel guilt as a result of that. The family will see the negative consequences of that promiscuity and it may make a number of people over the coming years ... begin to realize that there are negative consequences and maybe they should adjust their behavior. We can't keep people from being raped. We can't keep people from shooting each other. We can't keep people from jumping off bridges. People drink and drive, and they crash and kill people. Poor behavior has its consequences."



Ok, I know that Kentucky's senators are very much in the same bag when it comes to this sort of pure evil and stupidity. But at least they had the decency to keep their idiocy on a more eloquent level.

And like I said in my comment on [livejournal.com profile] ms_daisy_cutter's post: "I feel like I just got punked."
dextra: (Funny if it wasn't me)
I was driving to Morehead to go pick up the twins. I had just been all over town dropping off Mom, Tony and Goober off at their workplaces. The car has been fine forever, so I didn't think twice about getting on the interstate. I hadn't even gotten five miles when the air conditioner started blowing hot air and I saw the car was overheating. Fuck.

So I pulled over to the side of the highway and tried to figure out what my options were. I had no phone, no money (but plenty of gas, since I'd just put all of the money I did have in the tank), and I was a good couple of miles to the next exit. So I sat there long enough for the engine to cool off a little and made it to the exit, and a gas station.

So I called Chris (kids' dad) and told him what was going on. He and Sara and the girls came with some coolant and it did no good. So they brought me back here. Thankfully, my friend DJ showed up, so he and Beth went to go see if they could get it going. I know a little about cars, but not enough to deal with whatever was going on there.

So now I'm stuck here with the twins and my nephews, Beth is going to get Mom from work to help deal with the car, and I guess they're going to get Goob and Tony (who should both be getting off work any minute now.

What makes it even better is my hands are a wreck and I've been trying to hedge off a migraine that's been hovering since yesterday.

...and Mom and Beth just got home. DJ's gonna tow the car and work on it tomorrow. A belt got shredded, and according to him, I'm lucky I managed to make it to the exit without blowing the engine.
dextra: (Hugh Laurie)
I hate my brains. I've been having those cluster migraines (as Aimee so helpfully identified for me) on and off for a while now. Yesterday was not a good day for it. I was up until about 6 am because every time I would think about lying down, one would hit. And I can't lay down because it hurts worse when I have one, and they tend to happen in, well, clusters. Like around 3 or 4 in the span of an hour or two.

When I finally did decide it was safe to go to bed, I was happily cuddled up next to Tony. He was a sweetheart and stayed up with me, because he's cool like that. And then as we were readjusting ourselves, he elbowed me in the temple. Totally an accident, but I know it made him feel bad, because it triggered a new round of brain bombs that made me cry. He's never seen me cry (y'all know how I am about that shit), so I felt bad for making him feel bad....vicious cycle of FAIL.

So I woke up about an hour ago to the smell of coffee and sloppy joes. Mom apparently decided that made a good breakfast. Ew.

*I tend to spout out random words before sleep and upon waking. I don't know why.

FIYAH!

Apr. 9th, 2009 07:22 pm
dextra: (Deadline)
There was a fire across the street at the gas station earlier. I didn't know what was going on at first. Tony and I were sitting here internetting and I said something like "That siren sounds close." He looks out the window and says "Oh, that's because there's a fire across the street."

I'm not sure why, but a van had caught fire (thankfully well away from the gas pumps). I got some pictures and a video of it. I'm gonna upload the video to YouTube in a bit. When I do I'll add it on here.






dextra: (Berserker)
I was lying in bed with my dear, sweet boyfriend. He was trying to be romantic and tried singing me a love song. In the middle of "You Are So Beautiful", he changed course and Rickrolled me instead.

There I am, having what I thought was a nice sweet moment, and all of a sudden I've got him humping my leg doing a Rick Astley impersonation and holding on for dear life to make sure I couldn't escape.

Internets, I hate you now.
dextra: (LEGENDARY)


No, I don't have an explanation.
dextra: (Funny if it wasn't me)
I am Murphy's Bitch. I have proof.




I picked them up to put them on after I got out of the shower, and they just fell apart right in my hands. No cracking, snapping, no warning, nothing. Just straight in two. I brought them and my trusty Gorilla Glue with me to try to fix them, but you have to be able to clamp it somehow while the glue dries. That's not going to work for these. I need to get some superglue or something that dries quick.

*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*
dextra: (Default)
I had saved a bunch of the cosplay pictures from the San Diego Comic Con for Halloween costume ideas, and for the lulz, because some of them were just horrendous. I didn't look too closely at them at the time. Just zoomed through and right-click-saved them all. Well, I was looking through them with Beth the other night and she was looking at them while I was messing with the boys. Then she stops at one and says "Holy shit, did you SEE this guy?"

I looked up and nearly fell out of my chair. )
dextra: (Heroes - I see what you did there)
Y'know those adorable little fluffball kittens I found a couple of months ago? Not so cute anymore. Still adorable at a glance, but they are now at the rebellious teenager phase, and all I can say is ARGH. I walked this morning from my bedroom, which is in the front of the house, to the bathroom, which is in the back. Just walking out my bedroom door I wanted to kill them.

I must be a heavier sleeper than I thought. I don't know how they managed to cause that much destruction without waking me up. Every knicknack, remote control, cup, whatever...every bit of it on the floor, from every table and shelf that they could get their little furry asses on. All my action figures, a shelf's worth of dvds, one shelf where there was just enoug wiggle room between a few books to knock them off....all of it. And that was just the living room. The kitchen wasn't as bad, relatively speaking, but I caught Blue on top of the microwave. Just in time for him to knock the glass bowl I keep change in down to the floor to shatter and send pennies flying EVERYWHERE.

Might be mean, but I took their litterbox, food and water bowls and locked them in the bathroom until I get home. I have a good idea as to why they went batshit. Mom wasn't home. She stayed at Granny's last night because Granny has a doctor's appointment early this morning. So they were probably either freaking out because something was different, or they just decided "Hay! Ma's no home! Les party!" Mom sleeps with her bedroom door open, I don't. So in a sense, I kind of disappear on them when I go to bed.

I don't know what to do with them. They'll be going to visit the vet for a harbl-ectomy soon, and hopefully that'll calm them down a bit, but damn. Also? Cheese has taken to sleeping on my hats. You know how hard it is to get cat hair off of corduroy and velvet?

dextra: (Weeds - Bitch Please)
Me: *sitting at my desk perusing internets, sipping Pepsi quietly*

Crazy Woman: *bursts in door, looking homicidal*

Me: Can I help you?

Cut for crazy )
dextra: (Science Motherfuckers!)
Warning! NSFW! But worth sneaking a peek at anyway:

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